Tag Archives: Life

What Boomers Can Look Forward To, As We Grow Into The Third Part of Life

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THE AUTUMN OF LIFE MIGHT INVOLVE SOME LOSSES AND SOME LETTING GO. DO YA THINK?

 

The second half of life is different from the first half. What worked in the first half might not work in the second half. So I have been told, and so I believe.

That the second half of life is “different” is, of course, obvious. But what are the differences, what are the adjustments we will have to make? These are not idle questions, for mature people trying to cope in the complex and confusing world of the 21st Century.

I’ve been thinking for some time that this Consternation blog — Consternation from the perspective of a Baby Boomer over 60 — ought to take a stab at these questions.

LIFE CAN BE A FEAST AT ANY AGE, EVEN IF IT'S HOMEMADE SOUP WITH A GLASS OF WINE.

Let’s start by clarifying the questions that I hope to examine, with your help. First, it seems more useful to look at life in thirds, and to say that the third one-third of life is different from the first one-third and the second one-third. Exactly what are the differences?

What are the conditions of life at each of the three stages? What are the problems, the challenges, the work you need to accomplish? Retirement does not necessarily mean the end of work. Particularly important, what are the changes you have to make, and the changes you have to accept, in the third part of life? Let’s stipulate that we Baby Boomers are probably going to continue to learn and grow, even this late in the game. Especially this late in the game.

Let’s acknowledge that the third part of life is going to bring some losses, some goodbyes, some letting go.  We’ll have some sadness, I expect, but hopefully also some joy and accomplishments. I hope for connectedness, rather than isolation. I imagine that a sense of connectedness and belonging will be very important.

AT MY AGE, YOU CAN TAKE A NAP WHENEVER YOU WANT. PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE GRAY HAIR. WAKE ME UP IN TIME FOR SUPPER.

The following video, which I stumbled upon at the Rowdy Kittens blog, might give us a common starting point, and some thoughts to ponder. It’s a talk by Brene Brown. She begins with the statement that, “Connection is why we’re here,” and goes on to issues of disconnection, shame, worthiness, belonging, and vulnerability.

The video is only 20 minutes long, and I hope you’ll give it a listen. Ms. Brown offers many insights on the human condition. She says that vulnerability is the core of shame, and vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy. I have no doubt that many Baby Boomers will have a sense of increasing vulnerability in the third part of life. Perhaps we will be able to embrace it as an opportunity.

Thanks to Rowdy Kittens and to the TED Web Site (“Riveting talks by remarkable people, free to the world”) for making Ms. Brown’s insights available to all.

I have no idea how many posts it’s going to take to examine the issues of the third part of life. I’m not prepared to venture any further in this post. Whether or not you listen to Ms. Brown’s talk, I hope you’ll consider offering some of your own thoughts in the comments area below. Your participation is welcome.

— John Hayden

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Princess Lola

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I hear that you can get rich quick by simply posting photos of cats on your blog. With that in mind, please welcome Lola, the nocturnal wonder-cat. Can you believe those long, white whiskers?

It can be frustrating, trying to get a good photo of a black cat or dog, and Lola doesn’t help. I think she is a little bit camera shy. Lola is black as ink, with four white paws and a white belly, and green eyes. With the help of iPhoto, these photos have been digitally enhanced so you can actually see her against that blue dog blanket. (She doesn’t know I got the blanket for a dog, so please don’t tell her.)

What Lola does best is sleep. She is a world-class sleeper, and I’m not talking catnaps. She’s practicing to be a consultant on sleep disorders. Lola gets up in the morning when I do. After eating breakfast, she curls up and goes right to sleep, and snoozes through most of the day. Late at night (or more likely, early morning), when I’m trying to fall asleep, Lola is prowling around in the dark. My apartment is small, but she never tires of exploring. There are even small spaces here that she hasn’t gotten around to trying out. Small spaces are one of Lola’s favorite things.

Sleeping, eating, and small spaces. That about exhausts the list of Lola’s interests. If she has a hobby, it’s going out on the screened porch to listen to the birds, or swat at the moths. I really have to get her on an exercise program. She’s age four, in the prime of life, and if I can persuade her to shed a few pounds, she will easily live another 10 years, or more. Right this moment, Lola is perched precariously but serenely on a narrow window sill, listening to the summer rain. It’s kinda hard to tell if she’s awake or asleep.

One more thing about Lola. She is a talker, with a vocabulary for all occasions. Lola has a word for “Hey, you!” and others for greeting, contentment, surprise, curiosity. Lola’s favorite subject is food. I believe she can say “Feed me,” in five languages, including French and Chinese.

After an hour or so of late-night exploring, Lola settles down at the foot of my bed. (Lola sleeps wherever she wants. During the day, my favorite chair. At night, on the bed. Only thing I ask is that she avoid walking across my stomach more than twice a night.) Lola sleeps sporadically, at night. Mostly, she lies awake, with her head up, meditating on the middle distance. Either that, or she’s working complicated mathematics problems in her head.