Folks who earn their living in a seasonal beach town get an adrenaline rush during the whirl of summer. Naturally, letdown and loss follow when the music stops. By Christmastime, the “Wait till next year” anticipation sets in. Anticipation is good to have during the dark night and the cold winter.

This October, the music really stopped. For the last time. Retirement. Fin de siecle.

The motel will reopen in May, but it will reopen without me.

The initial experience of retirement is bittersweet for most lifelong workers, I would venture. You don’t know whether to laugh or cry. It’s disorienting, unbalancing. But probably not as bad as quitting smoking cold turkey.

I’m making too many changes, more quickly than is advisable. I’ve been thinking about and planning the changes for a year, at least. And heaven knows, I’ve experienced plenty of other changes along the way.

Equilibrium will return eventually.

— John