This just in: Nearly half of older Americans have a net worth of less than $10,000 when they die.
Category Archives: Aging
The Present Moment Does Not Linger
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Summertime, and the living is easy.
Unless you live and work at the beach. Then it’s a busy and sometimes stressful time. Work, sleep, eat, repeat.
If you’re a farmer, you might say, “Make hay while the sun shines.”
If you’re a baseball player, you might say, “It’s a long season, and you’ve got to trust it.”
I suppose we all might say, along with ‘Crash’ Davis, the perennial minor league slugger in “Bull Durham:”
“Some days you win, some days you lose, and some days it rains.”
Or, as the part-owner of a boardwalk 5-and-10-cent store told me more than 30 years ago: “You can make money in Ocean City, if you know what you’re doing.” Not that I paid much attention to making money, then or now.
These photos of a lifeguard stand on the beach catch the sunlight fading into dusk, along with the cloud shapes in the sky, which never remain the same for more than a minute. Let the record show that the photos were shot four days after the Solstice, in the Sixth Month of the Twelfth Year in the First Century of the Third Millennium, AD. Not that it matters.
In June of 2012, I began my 65th year, Continue reading
Play In Progress???
This humble blog would be more popular by a mile if I changed the name to “Play In Progress.” That’s the thought that occurs to the blogger in me as I look at the blog’s three most recent entries:
Then to make matters worse, all those posts about the Supreme Court and Chief Justice John Roberts. Talk about serious! All together now: BORING! What do you think? I’d seriously like your feedback.
Photo by Roo Reynolds via Wikipedia
If I could choose between Playful and Joyful, on one hand, and Serious and Responsible on the other, I wonder which would I choose? Is one better than the other? Can you be both? Is it a matter of your age or role in life? Child, Teenager, Young Adult, Middle-aged, and so on? As I take stock at age 64, which would be the better road for me? Or can you have it all? I believe I’ll be posting some more on this dilemma.
In the words of a great American, Popeye: “I ‘yam what I ‘yam.” But maybe my personality and my blog needs a little tune-up.
Naturally, I can’t write more just this minute, because I’m due at my paying job in an hour.
— John Hayden
Hoopdancing — Beautiful and Amazing (New Year 2013 Update)
Video
Jan. 1, 2013 update: Happy New Year! Click on the little comment cloud (above this post to the right) and read a most encouraging comment by hula hoop instructor Cara Zara, with instructions on how to make your own hoop. Better yet, check out Cara’s blog at http://carazara.wordpress.com Thank you Cara!
The video below is an awesome performance by Beth Lavinder Williams. You can see more of her videos on YouTube.
I wonder if I’m too old to learn how to do this? Continue reading
What Boomers Can Look Forward To, As We Grow Into The Third Part of Life
THE AUTUMN OF LIFE MIGHT INVOLVE SOME LOSSES AND SOME LETTING GO. DO YA THINK?
The second half of life is different from the first half. What worked in the first half might not work in the second half. So I have been told, and so I believe.
That the second half of life is “different” is, of course, obvious. But what are the differences, what are the adjustments we will have to make? These are not idle questions, for mature people trying to cope in the complex and confusing world of the 21st Century.
I’ve been thinking for some time that this Consternation blog — Consternation from the perspective of a Baby Boomer over 60 — ought to take a stab at these questions.
LIFE CAN BE A FEAST AT ANY AGE, EVEN IF IT'S HOMEMADE SOUP WITH A GLASS OF WINE.
Let’s start by clarifying the questions that I hope to examine, with your help. First, it seems more useful to look at life in thirds, and to say that the third one-third of life is different from the first one-third and the second one-third. Exactly what are the differences?
What are the conditions of life at each of the three stages? What are the problems, the challenges, the work you need to accomplish? Retirement does not necessarily mean the end of work. Particularly important, what are the changes you have to make, and the changes you have to accept, in the third part of life? Let’s stipulate that we Baby Boomers are probably going to continue to learn and grow, even this late in the game. Especially this late in the game.
Let’s acknowledge that the third part of life is going to bring some losses, some goodbyes, some letting go. We’ll have some sadness, I expect, but hopefully also some joy and accomplishments. I hope for connectedness, rather than isolation. I imagine that a sense of connectedness and belonging will be very important.
AT MY AGE, YOU CAN TAKE A NAP WHENEVER YOU WANT. PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE GRAY HAIR. WAKE ME UP IN TIME FOR SUPPER.
The following video, which I stumbled upon at the Rowdy Kittens blog, might give us a common starting point, and some thoughts to ponder. It’s a talk by Brene Brown. She begins with the statement that, “Connection is why we’re here,” and goes on to issues of disconnection, shame, worthiness, belonging, and vulnerability.
The video is only 20 minutes long, and I hope you’ll give it a listen. Ms. Brown offers many insights on the human condition. She says that vulnerability is the core of shame, and vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy. I have no doubt that many Baby Boomers will have a sense of increasing vulnerability in the third part of life. Perhaps we will be able to embrace it as an opportunity.
Thanks to Rowdy Kittens and to the TED Web Site (“Riveting talks by remarkable people, free to the world”) for making Ms. Brown’s insights available to all.
I have no idea how many posts it’s going to take to examine the issues of the third part of life. I’m not prepared to venture any further in this post. Whether or not you listen to Ms. Brown’s talk, I hope you’ll consider offering some of your own thoughts in the comments area below. Your participation is welcome.
— John Hayden
Related Articles
- Get Out There! The Power of Vulnerability (wisebread.com)
- 5 Simple Living Bloggers Show Downsizing Can be Smart-sizing (blogher.com)
- Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability (tdaait.wordpress.com)
- TED Talk: Brene Brown on Vulnerability (thedivorceencouragist.wordpress.com)
- Brene Brown on the Power of Vulnerability (auntiemoon.wordpress.com)
My Life Organized Into “Projects”
Image via Wikipedia
So now I realize that my wayward life has become a series PROJECTS.
I use the word “project” in the baseball sense. Major League teams are eager to sign talented young players who are promising “prospects.” Note the difference between a prospect and a project.
A “prospect” has a real chance to make it in the Major Leagues, after a year or two in the minors. Baseball scouts have high expectations for a prospect. He probably gets a bonus simply for signing a contract. Hence, the term, “bonus baby.” Millions, sometimes, for raw talent.
A “project,” on the other hand, is a young player who appears to possibly have the makings of a Major Leaguer. But the wise old men of baseball understand that this player needs a lot of coaching, and maybe years of seasoning in the minors. Developing this rookie into a Major Leaguer is a project for the long term. The outcome is by no means certain.
My projects are never going to the Major Leagues, but they will require perseverance to reach humble goals. I’ve already mentioned the first two projects:
- My Austerity Project. The first part of this project is simply keeping a record of how much money I spend every day, with a goal of bringing my budget under control. The record keeping is easy enough, and I’m sticking with it every day. The frequency of unbudgeted expenses, however, is discouraging. The $328.33 for routine 50,000-mile maintenance on my car this past week, for example. This project is going to be like pushing a rock up a hill every day.
- My Fitness Project. I mentioned that I got a good deal on a one-year gym membership. So far, I’ve been using the gym every third day, sometimes walking on one of the in-between days. I’d like to ratchet up the Fitness Project to every other day at the gym. Even better would be working out almost every day. Just showing up is clearly 80 percent of the Fitness Project. So far, so good.
In addition to Austerity and Fitness, the care and organization of my small and disorderly living space has achieved the status of full-fledged project. My Apartment Project. More on this to come soon, with “before” pictures.
And now I see that the Holiday Project is upon us again. This is primarily a Survival Project. The Holiday Project will make all the other projects more challenging. Normal life resumes on Jan. 2, 2011.
After the holidays looms My Job Project. Talk about a humble project! It’s weighing on my mind a little. But not too much, thanks to Social Security.
I feel a rant coming on soon about politicians who want to solve the national budget and debt crisis by killing Social Security. They want to throw aging workers under the bus. Or put us on an iceberg and let us drift out to sea.
Excuse me, but I’ve been paying taxes into Social Security since I went to work at McDonalds at age 16. Social Security is not like welfare, or even food stamps. My Social Security is b0ught and paid for. I own it. It belongs to me. Do I make myself clear?
As you can see, I’m dealing with a full load of projects here. And I haven’t even mentioned the Laundry Project, which has reached the top of the priority list for tomorrow, or the Blogging Project, the one that keeps me typing until the middle of the night.
If it weren’t for the Blogging Project, consisting of three different blogs (which is two blogs too many), I’d have more time to focus on the important projects.
— John Hayden
Related Articles
- “AARP Poll: Social Security Reliability a Key Issue” and related posts (pdamerica.org)
- GAO: Raising retirement age will hurt the poor (dailykos.com)
- A Proposal to Reform Social Security (nytimes.com)
Austerity Project, Day 10
Image via Wikipedia
It’s too soon to know whether the Austerity Project will be a success. I’m defining “success” to mean reducing my spending to match my income.
The total damage for Austerity Project, Week No. 1, was $189.13. Issues from Week No. 1: I ate pizza three times. That number has to come down. My biggest single expenditure was a fill-up at the gas station, with regular at $2.76 a gallon, for a total of $33.68. After rent, health insurance, and food, gas for the car is my next highest monthly expense. Soon I’m going to need an oil change and some regular maintenance, which is not included in the monthly budget. And looming in February is the $700 annual payment for car insurance, which is also off-budget.
The first day of Week No. 2 was my first day with no expenditures. Not a penny. Tuesday was $16.23 for miscellaneous household goods at Walmart.
Today, I signed up with a health club, aka “gym,” with a commitment of $19.95 a month for the next year! I did not make this decision lightly. There is no health club line in my monthly budget. I don’t know where the $19.95 a month is coming from. But you have to admit it’s a good price for a health club membership.
With a fancy new health club opening, there’s something of a price war going on among health clubs in my area. I found the $19.95 price at a so-called “bare bones” club. It doesn’t have a sauna or whirlpool or spa. The locker room is small. No towel service. But the place is bright and airy, and they’ve got more equipment than I’ll ever use.
I’m thinking that at age 62, with creakiness in the bones and weakness in the muscles, the health club membership comes close to qualifying as an essential.
It’s not as if I’ve been inactive in the past year. For much of that time, I worked as a security guard, which was mostly walking, walking, walking around a large building and grounds. In other words, my job was to be a moving, human scarecrow. Since August, I’ve spent a lot of time on political campaigning, which also involved lots of walking. I got a sunburn, and then a tan, on my face, but I can’t say I feel any healthier for all the walking. The campaigning resulted in two disappointing losses, first my own in the primary, and then the candidate I volunteered for in the general election.
Now, with the security guard job and the campaign over, and winter coming on, I feel like I’m facing rapid deterioration if I don’t keep these old bones moving. The health club is less than $1 a day, and it will give me another place (in addition to the library) where I can go to get out of the rain and snow.
I’m starting the health club adventure at near rock bottom (I always feel rock bottom this time of year, with the shortening daylight and the sun low in the sky). Job one is to get myself to the health club almost every day. It will be interesting to see if the exercise makes a difference. Any improvement in health of mind and/or body will be well worth the $19.95.
Stay tuned. I’ll keep you posted.
— John Hayden
Colonoscopy: Insider’s Report
Being over 60 means getting a colonoscopy. Truth to tell, I had one about 10 years ago, not long after turning 50. It’s a rite of passage at the end of the middle years. We’re entering new territory, and by now we understand the value of health. The colonoscopy is a symbol of our new watchfulness in a dangerous world.
My second colonoscopy was today, at age 61. Any day that starts with a colonoscopy can only get better. Assuming, of course, that they don’t discover some dread disease that begins with “C.”
Everyone says the day of preparation before the procedure is the hard part. This time, the prep day didn’t seem so bad. Two bottles of salty stuff to drink, four little pills to swallow. Just follow the instructions. They let me drink water up until five hours before the procedure.
I drive to a nice modern facility at 8:30 a.m. Lots of friendly and professional staff. They give me a hospital gown, and a robe to put over my shoulders like a cape. The volunteer says I can keep my socks on, because it’s cold in there. He leads me to a reclining chair, and puts a blanket over my lap and legs. A pre-warmed blanket! First class all the way.
There’s the usual blood pressure and temperature routine, an IV is started, people keep asking my name and date of birth, to make sure I haven’t forgotten. At least four different people ask if I’m allergic to anything. They all seem genuinely happy to be doing their jobs. I sign a few papers, talk to the anesthesiologist. The nurse says there’ll be a short wait. I relax and read my book.
After a while the doc comes and chats, and says we’ll get started in a few minutes. I walk into the next room and lie down on my side, as directed. The chief nurse announces the procedure. At least six health-care folks are in the room, and we don’t want anyone thinking this is an amputation.
The doctor asks, “Do you mind if the student nurse observes?” Of course he can observe! He might learn something. Sell tickets, for all I care. I’m going to be knocked out. Put it on YouTube, if you want. Just make sure to get my good side.
The anesthesiologist is fiddling with his stuff, and a nurse comments on the mystery I was reading. She has the same book. It’s about a dog and a private eye, as told by the dog. We’re all laughing about the dog, or so it seemed to me, and that’s the last thing I remember.
I woke up in a fog, still lying on my side. As a nurse had warned, I felt cramps from pockets of air in my gut. They put air into the colon as part of the procedure, and try to get most of it out when they’re done. But they never get it all, so you have these pockets of air inside. You have to relax and allow the air to escape by the usual exit.
I do not remember this air cramping after the colonoscopy 10 years ago, but I honestly have to say it was the only bad part today. When I became fully awake, the air cramps felt painful. Not terrible, but definitely not pleasant. A guy next to me was having the same problem. Minutes went by, and the air pockets were slow to disperse. I finally got the last of the air out in the privacy of a restroom. It seemed like enough air to inflate a truck tire.
Eventually I got dressed and a nurse took me to a chair, sat me down, and gave me a cup of water. They had said the procedure would begin at 9:30 a.m., and I could go home by 10:30 or 11 a.m. It seemed like a lot of time had passed, but now that I had my watch and glasses back, I could see it was only 10:50.
The doc stopped by and told me everything was fine. He had pictures! He found one polyp and zapped it. No possibility that it was the bad kind, he assured me. Score: Doctors 1, Polyps, 0. Game over.
You may remember that I drove myself to the medical building. But you probably know that they don’t let you drive yourself home. Fortunately, my neighbor was kind enough to come and drive me home. I had something to eat and took a nap. I’ll go back and retrieve my car tomorrow.
One thing more: I decided to have the colonoscopy now, because in two months, I probably won’t have health insurance. — John Hayden
Anne Tyler — ‘Noah’s Compass’ — The End
Liam and Eunice were in the blush of romance, last we saw them. That didn’t last long, naturally. What “Noah’s Compass” needs is a little more love and a little less reality. I won’t spoil the story by revealing the details of the relationship’s failure. It was painful, and sad, and just plain disappointing. But you knew that.
Anne Tyler — ‘Noah’s Compass’ — Take 2
I’ve read nearly 100 more pages of “Noah’s Compass.” When we left Liam Pennywell, he was alone and depressed, and, as he put it, “Almost waiting to die.” Naturally, Anne Tyler wasn’t going to let Liam’s story go in a straight line.
Liam soon becomes involved with a younger woman, a woman who says, “My parents think I’m a failure.” Next thing you know, Liam’s teen-age daughter, Kitty, has moved out of her mother’s house and settled in Liam’s den, for the summer. Liam’s romantic interest, Eunice, is coming over every evening, under the pretense of helping him with his resumé, Kitty’s teen-age boyfriend visits all the time, and Liam is providing taxi service for the two teens. ‘Nother words, Liam’s life is getting complicated.
Living Simply And Still On The Grid 